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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467530">Shattered</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/booksnpaper/pseuds/booksnpaper'>booksnpaper</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Career Ending Injuries, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Post-Canon, Tags Are Hard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:00:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,541</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/booksnpaper/pseuds/booksnpaper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Of course, Yuuri never expected something like this to happen, much less to him. He always landed his jumps, even if he didn't he knew how to fall so he didn't hurt himself this severely. Yet, sometimes fate isn't always on your side when you're working so hard for a shiny metal for your coach to kiss. </p><p>OR: Yuuri screws up a landing and now has to pay for it in a hospital bed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shattered</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hiya! This is my first fic in the Yuri!!! On Ice fandom &amp; I’d like to say thanks for having me. Don’t look at my other works or else you’ll be disappointed with things that are unfinished because I’m Historically Bad at finishing fics. This can go both ways, sort of. I’ve chosen it to be a one shot because I know I’ll never finish it if it’s in chapters. So anyway! </p><p>Its kinda set after the anime where Yuuri is (hopefully) working toward getting his first gold metal, after getting the silver metal.</p><p>More notes at the end to explain somethings after!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was his bones cracking that made him lose recollection of what happened. Whatever pain he felt when crash landing on his right foot had never surfaced when it happened. All he felt was cold; bitter cold. The coldness of the ice was never this unforgiving. Sure, he’s fallen a few times and made his ankles hate him for the fact that he did such a stupid thing, but nothing this cruel. His eyes stared silently at the ceiling of lights that twinkled down to him, catching his attention. He was the moth and they were the flame. </p><p>He could only stare at the lights as Viktor came into view, worry in his eyes; there were a few tears, too. Wait, why was Viktor crying? There were muffled sounds, voices, but no music. It was the irie feeling that there was something that was supposed to be playing in the background of all this; it stopped abruptly as soon as he hit the ice. It was his scream that finally came to an end. Only then did he realize he let loose a scream so full of pain, so full of sorrow, that it ripped through his throat and felt like shattering his vocal cords. He could only hear the ring of his ears.</p><p>“Yuuri!” Viktor’s voice broke through, but it wasn’t enough to hold his attention. His eyes still stared at the light fixtures as if he would suddenly start feeling it when he looked away. “You are going to be okay, I promise.” A full sentence finally brought his gaze to the sobbing man next to him. There were more people, people in uniforms, around him. Yet, his eyes couldn’t focus long enough for him to become fully aware that they were trying to help him. He was more fixated on Viktor’s pleads of affirmation. Was he going to be okay? What really happened to him? </p><p>There was some shuffling and suddenly his body was being lifted. Viktor’s hand hung tightly onto his own, their matching rings seemed to compliment themselves. “You’re going to be okay, Yuuri.”</p><p>Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Viktor. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>At first, he couldn’t open his eyes. He was conscious, but his eyes stayed shut in the blissful moment that he was asleep in his bed at home, or his hotel room, or somewhere else that wasn’t where he should have been. But that moment passed when he heard the beep of a machine beside him. It was a steady beat that went along with his heart. Oh, duh, a heart monitor. Wait, did that mean he was in a hospital? Why was he… </p><p>His eyes shot open, gripping the blankets of the hospital bed. The steady beat of the heart monitor began to speed up as the realization hit him harder than a freight train. Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. He was hyperventilating. Oh god, why was he here? Where was Viktor? Where was his family? His mom? His sister? Anyone? The feeling of being alone crushed him deeper into the bed until he felt the warm hands of a familiar touch. </p><p>“Yuuri, calm down, you’re okay, you’re safe.” It was the words of his mother trying to sooth him. Her hands were on his face, trying to get him to look at her. “Deep breathes, Yuuri. You’re alright.” </p><p>Anxious eyes darted everywhere but his mother’s face. He saw a blurred vision of someone standing in the doorway, but they looked too small to be Viktor. Tears were falling down his face, welding up in his mother’s hands, as he continued to absolutely lose himself to the anxiety attack. “Mom…” he whispered, finally finding her eyes. He felt another grasp on his wrist and saw Mari on his other side out of the corner of his eye. </p><p>Family. He was surrounded by his family. His father was behind his mother, looking rather fearful, Minako was next to his sister with the same expression painted on her face. Worry never looked good on anyone. </p><p>Finally, after a few moments of silence, Yuuri huffing out short breathes as he tried to get a hold of himself, he finally calmed down. His eyes closed as he could feel the strong grip of his mother’s hands, the promising hold that Mari held. It was what grounded him, bringing him back to them. </p><p>Silence hung in the air like the elephant in the room as Yuuri’s breathing returned back to normal. The simple tempoed beating of his heart slowed down to a normal pace and he could finally open his eyes without freaking out. Still, he hadn’t looked down past his stomach yet. There was something stopping him. </p><p>“Where’s Viktor?” His scratchy voice broke the air like a blade through leaves. He half expected his coach to be halfway back to his homeland by now, but that was the anxiety talking. </p><p>“He’s sleeping in the waiting room,” said Minako, stepping a bit closer. “He refuses to leave even though we said we’d call him after you woke up.” He didn’t want to bother his coach by waking him up from who knows how long he stayed awake, so Yuuri glanced away from Minako. </p><p>Now hung the reasoning behind why he was laying in a hospital bed with his family surrounding him. The quiet crept back into his ears like the ringing on the ice. He was trying to remember what happened, trying to recall why he was here and why Viktor refused to leave his side. Finally, he looked past the blanket that laid on his chest. His eyes following down the stitched pattern so where his foot sat exposed. It was covered in a green cast with his toes out for all to see. His foot was in a cast. His foot was in a cast. <em> His foot was in a cast </em>. </p><p>The heart monitor started to speed up again as his mother looked down to what he was staring at. “You took a pretty hard fall,” she said in a low voice. “but, nothing you can’t walk off.” It was that sentence that broke his gaze from the green cast to his mother’s face. She was smiling through the tears. She was just happy her son was okay. </p><p>But for Yuuri? That green cast signified that his career was over. No, his <em> life </em> was over. He was never going to skate again. Forever forbidden from the ice because of one bad fall. He swallowed. “How bad?” his voice was barely a whisper now. </p><p>There was hesitation, like they were trying to find the right words, but his mother spoke up. “Your ankle was broken in three different places. You had to go into emergency surgery to set your ankle back into place.” </p><p>That’s not what he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear how it wasn’t that bad and in a few months he could get back on the ice and continue to work toward that gold metal. His eyes returned to the bright green that almost made him nauseous. He heard footsteps, but he didn’t look up to see who it might have been that left in a hurry. Maybe they couldn’t stomach the fact that he was broken beyond repair, he sure couldn’t. He felt like he was spiraling down into his thoughts as the ringing brought back memories. </p><p>He was flying across the ice at incredible speed. His skates match the tempo of the music as he felt every note flow through him. His story, of course, was that of someone who felt lost in a world that never belonged to them. As he prepared for his first jump, it signified the person finding themselves stuck somewhere that felt familiar; it was an easy jump, a triple toe loop. He landed it with ease. The clapping filled the stadium. Then, he continued with his program as he normally would. Telling the story of how the person found their spot in the world that could finally belong to them. The last jump was to signify that they were happy with their life. But--- </p><p> </p><p>“Yuuri!!” came the crashing of the door as he was broken from his trance. Viktor Nikiforov stood in the doorway huffing as if he just sprinted a mile. Minako was jogging up behind him, looking rather annoyed that she was left in the dust. Mari took a step back from his bedside to give Viktor some room. “Oh Yuuri, I’m so glad you’re okay!” The smiling face was what brought him back to reality. Though, Yuuri wasn’t smiling back. Viktor’s hand held tightly on the hand that was supposed to be where his ring was, the ring he gave to Viktor to signify that he was serious about their relationship; it was removed before x-rays were taken and given to his mother before surgery. </p><p>“Viktor, I…--” He couldn’t find the words to express how he was feeling. He didn’t even know how he was feeling. All he could do was look at the ring on Viktor’s finger. His own reflexes  tightened their grip. “I…” He could feel that familiar knot in his throat, the one that caused him to usually start hysterically crying. “I’m so sorry…” His voice broke as he felt himself shake with sorrow that wrecked through his body. It finally hit him. The pain, the sadness, the shock, the realization. It hit him all at once. But this time, it wasn’t an anxiety attack. </p><p>Viktor let go of his hand, letting the cool air attack the warmth that was once held dearly. It wasn’t a moment before that Viktor was holding onto Yuuri so tightly that it helped the sudden rush of feelings. It suppressed them, making them better to deal with. Viktor was holding him to help him through the emotions, to show he wasn’t by himself. But, all Yuuri could do was apologize to his fiance. If he didn’t fall, if he didn’t mess up that final jump, they wouldn’t be here. They’d be on the ice practicing for the next event. </p><p>“Yuuri, it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.” But it was. It was all his fault. If he’d just land that damn jump he wouldn’t--- </p><p>He felt the sudden sensation of Viktor pulling away from his body. Hands grasped the sides of his face, Yuuri watched with a surprised look. Viktor was holding his face in place, staring deeply into his eyes. He was still shaking, still crying pathetically in front of his coach. But, this wasn’t the first time this happened, this was the first time that Yuuri felt more broken in his life than when he utterly lost before his silver metal. “Yuuri, listen to me,” Viktor’s stern voice almost shouted through the thoughts that were running through his mind. He had no idea what his parents were thinking as this all went down. Sure, they were supportive until the end, but they tried their best when Yuuri was having one of his more anxious days. And sure, Viktor didn’t know how to help when someone was completely losing it like Yuuri was, but he tried his best in the end; that’s all that counted. </p><p>“Are you listening?” You could be looking at someone but not listen to a word they said when you’re as trapped in your mind as Yuuri sometimes was. Still, Yuuri nodded. “It was not your fault. It was no one’s fault. It was an accident that sometimes happens to people who skate. It is unavoidable. What you do now beyond this point is up to you. You can choose whether you want to continue or if you want to finally retire.” <em> To finally retire </em> , those words stung the most. He loved skating with Viktor, he loved sharing the ice with someone he idolized so much. Someone who he came to love <em> so much </em>. He never wanted to stop skating. It was his life. </p><p>“You also don’t have to decide right now.” Viktor’s hands finally lifted from his face, allowing him free motion of his head. He watched, as if in slow motion, as Viktor’s hands left him. He was left back in the bitter cold without the warmth of his partner. He couldn’t help himself as he snatched one of Viktor’s hands, bringing it back to his cheek. Back to where the warmth was depleting. If only for a second, he could keep the warmth there, he could finally get a grip as to what was going on. </p><p>“Will you stay?” His own voice surprised him. It was hoarse from crying, from sobbing. It was hoarse from the screams that wrecked through him only hours before. It was hoarse from his absolute failure; and it was oh so sore. But still, he pleaded for Viktor to stay by his side. His fears and anxious thoughts surfaced without much of a shield. His fears of being abandoned, his anxious mind telling him Viktor now wanted nothing to do with him now that he was no longer able to skate. “E-even if I can no longer share the ice with you?” </p><p>There was a long beat of silence and he was scared that Viktor was going to retract his hand, return the ring, and never see him face to face again. But, instead, Viktor leaned down with a sorrowful smile, his face inches from Yuuri’s. “Of course, I would never leave you, my little pork cutlet bowl.” Something that used to be an insult to him was now a nickname of endearment. Yuuri didn’t mind. All he did was smile as their foreheads touched. </p><p>“Excuse me,” a voice broke through the comfort. Yuuri broke his gaze from Viktor to look at the nurse that was standing in the doorway of his room. “Now that Mr. Katsuki is awake, we want to check on how he’s doing.” </p><p>A nurse and a doctor filed into the room. Mari and Minako have left since it started getting crowded. His parents stepped to the side to let the doctor and nurse begin their post-op checklist. They checked his vitals, his cast, made sure he wasn’t feeling any nausea or headaches of the kind. Pain was normal, of course, and he’ll get something for it. His mother spoke up about the possibility of him returning to the ice, but the sounds drowned out as Viktor’s hand snaked into his. He felt the cool metal of the ring against his skin, drawing his attention away from the important information. At that moment, he didn’t care if he couldn’t skate professionally again. He didn’t care if he could no longer return to the ice. He didn’t care for the troubled road that led ahead with uncertainty that laid around every corner. He didn’t care for the fact that his life was changed forever. In this moment, he was happy with someone who was by his side, who cared for him, and who could coach him through it all with the love that he desired. </p><p>The conversation died down as they all looked at him. Viktor was listening to it all as Yuuri was off in his own world, again. Still, once the conversation stopped, Viktor looked back at him with a smile. </p><p>“Are you ready to go home, Yuuri?” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So! The whole thing about the surgery. I didn’t want his mom going into depth with it since it would probably throw him into another anxiety attack, so I left it vague for his sake. To explain, he has a few metal screws in his ankle to help it heal and for him to get back onto walking on it. Of course, in the near future, it can be removed but it’s not recommended. I left it open ended to where the reader can imagine what Yuuri does after this whole thing and what the journey is like. </p><p>There’s a slim possibility I might continue it but don’t lose total hope!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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